Origins

So, let's do this properly and start off with the origin story.

Once upon a time, in a chaplaincy not too far from here (not that you know where we are), there was a forlorn beanbag, ripped asunder under the weight of a blond pedant. He swiftly indicated the flaw in its composition, and so repairs were ordered.

The obvious method for repair is, of course, gaffer tape. Gaffer tape being duly acquired, twas applied to the forlorn beanbag and it was soon once again rejoicing among its beany-baggy friends, in their newly-varnished home.

There is, however, a sting in this tale, for the gaffer tape, poor and forsaken as it was, had seen barely any use. It was a sad time for Mr Gaffer Tape.

A sad time indeed.